What is Anger?
Anger is an emotion that people feel from time to time. It's normal, but when anger becomes the emotion you feel the most, this may be a sign for you to look at your anger more closely.
So I'm Angry. Now What?
Most people commonly use a variety of both conscious and unconscious processes to deal with their angry feelings. The three main approaches are:
- Expressing
- Suppressing
- Calming
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Expressing - Learn how to clearly express your needs and feelings to others is part of letting go of your anger.
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Suppressing - This happens when you hold in your anger. This is good to do until you are in a place to appropriately let your anger out.
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Calming - Deep breathing and letting yourself calm down. Once you have done this, confront your situation.
Are you Angry?
Have you ever had someone ask you if you are angry? Have you wondered why they are asking you that? Sometimes you may be angry and you don't even know it.
Signs of Anger
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teeth clenched
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hands curled into fists
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arms crossed firmly across chest
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intense eye contact, staring
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being silent, silent treatment
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quick, shallow breathing
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racing heartbeat
Being aware of the signs of anger will allow you to stop your anger from increasing
and pretty soon you'll find yourself as relaxed as this guy is DENYING that you are angry. Denying anger increases stress and may lead to illnesses such as headaches and
depression.
Things to Avoid...
DENYING that you are angry. Denying anger increases stress and may lead to illnesses such as headaches and depression.
CONTAINING your anger. Bottling anger inside of you will only delay it from coming out. Holding anger inside of you may lead to temper tantrums or angry outbursts.
DISPLACING your anger. This happens when you take your anger out on something other than the object of your anger. ie. A husband who focuses all his attention on his hobbies instead of talking to her about why he's angry.
INDIRECTLY EXPRESSING your anger by blaming your anger on something else. ie. You may be angry at your spouse for not mowing the lawn but instead of talking about that you start to pick fights about how much TV he watches.
All of these methods avoid the real source of your anger. Find the root of your problem and learn how to deal with it.
Dealing with Anger
When we get angry it's easy to do and say things that are not so helpful. Instead of doing or saying something you might regret, remember these four words the next time you get mad:
Admit
Explore
Express
Drop
These words could save you and others a lot of heartache.
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Admit you're angry - Admit it to yourself. Don't deny feeling angry or try to cover it up. This makes it worse.
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Explore your anger - What makes you angry? Give yourself time to put things in perspective.
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Express your anger - Don't use a personal attack to let people know you are angry with them. Calm down before you tell the person you are angry.
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Drop it! - This is the hardest and most important thing to do. Once you've addressed the source of your anger, let it go.
Additional Links on the Topic
ANGER MANAGEMENT TOOLKIT
This site gives you an opportunity to measure your anger, understand children's, negative behaviour, coping with your Co-worker or Boss, Four proven techniques for managing anger and coping with grief and loss.
ANGER MANAGEMENT
Contains information on anger management, fitness and nutrition, relaxation, self-help and stress management.
ANGER MANAGEMENT
This link offers 10 easy steps to manage and control your anger.
ANGER: THE HIDDEN KILLER
Self Improvement Online's Recommended and Reviewed "Controlling ANGER" Related Web sites. (Managing and Coping with Anger etc.)
